


Saint Castiel

by Faultier



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is just like an animal saint all animals love him, I just rlly want my gay/bi boys to be rlly happy and just have some animals, M/M, actually Cas is lightly based off of me I guess because animals love me just fyi be jealous, barn au, do i call it that?, holy shit i spelled hashtag wrong my life is gonna end now, idk Cas really wanted a farm and Dean said yes bc have you seen how cute he is how do you say no??, if it makes you laugh dean possibly breaks his nose in the second chapter, jk hastag not all animals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7516709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faultier/pseuds/Faultier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel just really wanted to own a little farm, where he and Dean could live out their days taking care of old and hurt animals. And, well, he had the trust fund to pay for it. And, well, Dean was bad at saying no sometimes.<br/>And so that's how they end up with a farm, and despite after every new addition with Dean screaming no more Cas still manages to come back with another animal.<br/>And Dean's totally not bitter that half the animals hate him but love Cas. He's not bitter at all. </p><p> </p><p>(Title will probably change)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darlin'

**Author's Note:**

> this is a low-key crack fic I guess? I just really wanted them to be happy and also I wanted to write snow white Cas and bitter Dean so, here ya go guys.  
> Chapters are going to be short, but this will be updated a lot more often than Chat Name: Fuck You All, and it'll definitely be updated a lot more than literally anything else I post.  
> Hope you guys enjoy!

It’s not when Cas suggests the idea that everything hits him. It’s not when they’re looking at houses with barns already built next to them and large yards that it hits Dean. No, not even when they sign the lease on a two story house with about 95 acres of land and a broken down barn sitting next to it. Not even when, after many days of Cas sighing sadly at the broken barn and slipping in subtle suggestions to fix up said bar, does it hit Dean the full extent of what they’re doing.

It’s now, when they’re standing in their yard while a man tries to convince them–and by them, Dean, because Cas already made up his mind–to take in this asshole horse.

She’s a mare, Arabian, with a potentially beautiful chestnut coat–were it not muddied and in need of some serious brushing.

The problem was, the 10 year old mare–named Darlin’, which it _was_ important to remember there was no ‘g’ on the end _Dean_ –was not at all friendly. Dean was pretty sure he had heard somewhere that mares were usually less tolerant than the males, though he also wasn’t a horse expert and don’t quote him on that.

Darlin’ was just downright mean. “Please take ‘er, they’re gonna sent her off to be slaughtered if nobody wants ‘er!” The man had pleaded, and immediately Cas gave in.

Despite Dean’s protesting, Cas walked up to the trailer and stuck his hand in to where the mare stood. She gently bumped her head into his hand. “Dean.” He turned, pouting at Dean who was standing feet away with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Fine, but I ain’t gonna feed her.” Dean said.

They got Darlin’ for free, because the man had been so desperate and Dean refused to pay a cent for a horse that was gonna also cost a lot of money to take care of. Since they were the only people in the town that had agreed to take Darlin’, the man gave up.

Soon Cas was taking her reins and walking her into the barn where they had a few stables set up. The next day he and Dean started fencing in their large yard, going around the small pond that was in the front.

Cas spent a week grooming her. Getting her main and tail cut since the hair was nearly down to the ground, as nobody wanted to go near her. And he brushed her free from the mud and bugs that had started sticking to her. He got all the dirt out of her hooves, picking it out and making sure nothing was left.

And, Dean started warming up to Darlin’, since she did so well with Cas he decided to give it a try too. Maybe the mare would be nice to Dean too. And so, while Cas was on the phone with his brother Gabe, Dean went out with some carrots while she was out in the pasture.

At first when Dean started walking towards her, she huffed a little but made no move towards him. When he put out a hand and offered the two carrots he brought she ate them quickly. Then, apparently realizing Dean had nothing left to offer but was still there, she huffed louder and charged towards Dean. Instantly Dean turned to run and fell, twisting his ankle. The horse didn’t go any further, just turning and going back to mowing their lawn.

Dean shouted. “CAS! GET OUT HERE NOW!” He tried to get back up but couldn’t stand on his ankle, and he had a feeling he sprained it.

A few minutes later after Cas dropped the phone with Gabe still on it, and helping Dean inside to wrap his ankle, he picked the phone back up to Gabe still calling his name.

“I’m still here Gabe, sorry for dropping the phone. Dean’s just being over dramatic about Darlin’.” He said, earning a shout from Dean across the living room. “Yeah, he’s a baby but it’s alright he’ll get over it.”

Dean grumbled from the couch, holding ice to his ankle. But nothing could fix his pride now. His wounded pride would be brought up by Gabe every chance the other man gets. Whatever, he’ll… learn to deal.

“Just keep that stupid horse away from me.” He grumbles at Cas during dinner. Cas chuckles through a mouthful of corn.

“Okay Dean, I will.” He says. He doesn’t really see why Dean hates Darlin’ so much. She’s a sweet thing–to Cas at least.

“And no more animals!” He adds after a bite of food. “I don’t want anymore asshole animals over here trying to make me die!”

“But Dean…” Cas starts, putting his fork down and pouting at his boyfriend. “Dean what if Darlin’ gets lonely?”

“ _Darlin’_ can suck it.” Dean says, drawing out the name mockingly before shoving a fork full of mashed potatoes in his mouth.

Cas frowns. “That’s not nice.” He says. Dean finishes his food in his mouth quickly, snapping back at Cas.

“ _Life’s_ not nice Cas.” His decision seems to be final.

They adopted a cow before the end of the week.


	2. Bella

The cow’s name, was Bella. And she was also ten years old. She was up there in age, if the wikipedia page Dean found was true. She was also old considering many cows were slaughtered by the time they’re five. 

She was from a small farm, but the family has gone bankrupt and can no longer support the animals. They’d given up the chickens to a small family who wanted to raise them and sell the eggs, and the farm dogs had easily gone up for adoption and taken in by a dog sanctuary. However their cow had no place to go.

She was ten years old, and anywhere she went they’d abuse her for milk and kill her two years later. Dean had even felt bad and didn’t need much convincing to take her in. 

She took the stall next to Darlin’ at night, and during the day they let her out so she could walk around the yard grazing. 

Dean quickly took to just calling her “Bells” the extra ‘a’ at the end was apparently too much for him. Bella grew on Dean, and he quickly took over brushing out any mud in her fur. 

She was your typical cow, black and white spots, and really just liked to doze in the yard while Darlin’ occasionally trotted around her. The two got along, though Dean was very nervous over if Darlin’ would charge at poor old Bella or not. However they got along, and a week after nervously watching and sending Cas out to chase Darlin’ away from Bella, and Dean finally was able to just sit down when they were out in the yard. 

Castiel was finally glad when this happened, as he was finally able to read more than three pages in his book without Dean smacking his shoulder and saying that “Darlin’ looks like she might charge at Bells. You go take care of  _ your _ horse.” 

Cas would put the bookmark in to his book and set it down quickly the first few times, running out and calling Darlin’ over, only to see that the horse was just staring at Bella. After the first five times of Dean doing this to him, Cas stopped moving as fast to get out in the yard. 

When Gabriel grabs their college crew to come visit Cas and Dean in their new home two weeks after bringing in Bella, Cas and Dean were not prepared. 

Both the horse and cow were out in the yard. Almost all of the yard is fenced in, and they have a gate near the end of their old driveway, but they ended up just parking outside the fence because bringing the cars in, getting out to lock the fence again, and getting back in the car was too much work. 

Also, Darlin’ seemed to have a deep rooted hatred for cars–if the scuff marks and hoof prints on Cas’ old pick-up truck were anything to go by. 

So they parked on the grassy parts they left out of the fenced in area, it was a large enough parking spot to fit an average of like, five cars. Which was more than how many cars they ever expected at their house, ever. 

Dean and Cas were both in rather compromising positions. Having decided to take a shower together and, well, deciding to quit the shower for later after a very long kiss. 

And Dean wasn’t even finished, which was the worst part in his opinion. They didn’t expect visitors, no, not until they heard Darlin’ loudly neighing and multiple screams of horror. Cas pushed himself up, the back of his head going straight into Dean’s nose, which started bleeding. Though he didn’t notice as Dean pulled off of him and Cas quickly ran to pull on a pair of boxers. Dean followed too, pulling on a pair of ninja turtle boxers that were given to him as a joke. 

While still holding his nose Dean ran after Cas, and both of them ran outside to find their friends on the other side of the gate. 

Gabriel looked like he had fallen on the ground, as his hair was messed up and there were dirt marks on his knees and probably his back if he turned around. Meg was the only one laughing, though no surprise there. Charlie was gripping Meg’s arm like it was the only thing keeping her from dying right now, and Jo was standing as far away from the gate as possible. 

And Darlin’, well she was neighing and shaking her head, looking ready to run at them should they come in again. 

Dean lost it. “CAS! Get your  _ stupid _ horse under control!” He yelled, which apparently took the attention of Darlin’ away from their friends and toward Dean. She got ready to run again, but there was Cas–in red striped boxers–running forward and putting a hand out in front of him.

“C’mon Darlin’, they’re just all being babies.” He murmured gently to the horse. “I’ll go put her in the stable for now, but afterwards I’m letting her out Dean. She doesn’t deserve to sit in a stable all day.” 

“Do whatever you want with the dumb thing, ‘slong as she ain’t trying to kill our friends.” Dean felt more blood dripping down his face. “Oh god Cas I think you broke my nose.” He shouted, but gestured to the frightened friends on the other side of the gate. 

“That thing tried to kill me!” Gabriel shouted. “I’ll come in when it’s in the barn!” 

Meg hopped over the gate. “I’m coming now so I can see Dean in those wonderful ninja turtle boxers.” 

Charlie, having lost her protection, jumped over and ran to grab Meg’s arm again. “Don’t leave me you’re my only hope.” Meg rolled her eyes, but let Charlie keep a hold on her. 

Jo eventually hopped over too, and when Cas was in the barn Gabe hopped over too. By the time Cas was back, Dean was standing in the kitchen with a tissue shoved up each nostril and was cleaning the blood off his hands. 

Cas walked towards Dean immediately. “Dean, how did this happen?” He asked, reaching up to poke at Dean’s puffy nose. 

“You!” Dean shouted, pointing at his boyfriend. “You bumped into me and then  _ ran _ as fast as possible because Darlin’s a friggin’ attack dog!” 

Cas rolled his eyes. “Darlin’ is nice, she just doesn’t like other people. I thought you’d get along with her you seem to share the same views.” 

“Holy shit are we sure they didn’t secretly get married?” Meg asked from the couch, the rest of the group shrugged. 

“Please just help me with my nose it hurts.” Dean mumbled. “What do we have in the freezer?” He asked.

Cas opened the freezer. “We have, uh, ice.” He scratched his head. “Weren’t you supposed to go shopping today?” 

“Weren’t you supposed to take a shower.” Dean shot back, and Cas sighed before grabbing a ziplock bag and dumping some ice in it. 

“Here, this should bring the swelling down. Though nothing is gonna heal your wounded pride.” He told Dean, before turning to their guests. 

Gabriel squinted at his younger brother. “Wait, wait, wait. Wait a damn second.” He let out a loud gasp. “Guys! They were  _ fucking _ before we got here!” 

Dean’s face turned red and he glanced down at himself standing in his boxers. Both men apparently realized their lack of dress and excused themselves to get dressed. 

“I can’t believe you possibly broke my nose because your brother doesn’t know that you’re supposed to tell people when you’re gonna show up at their house.” Dean grumbled to Cas as he pulled on a pair of shorts and a shirt. 

“I can’t believe you pulled on your stupid ninja turtle boxers before running out there.” Cas mumbled back, throwing a shirt of Dean’s toward him. 

Their friends–and Cas’ brother–in a fit of laughter just down below. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I went to see the average life-span of a cow and wikipedia said 15 years,  
> 2\. I then found a website that has made me turn against dairy products and cow meat. No way can I in good conscious ever drink milk again knowing how the cows are treated!  
> 3\. The chapters are getting a little longer, though I just wrote this so it's not edited and therefor not very good? Hope you guys enjoyed anyway

**Author's Note:**

> Ye, so, these chapters are short.  
> I'm uploading the second one asap tho, and I'll probably write two more tomorrow. Don't worry, I don't have a social life.


End file.
